For all the men out there in the online dating world, we see your pictures and profiles. We get your messages that you send, but we just don’t write back. Why?
Why girls don’t message you back online
There are hundreds, potentially thousands, of guys looking at her profile that she would rather not have looking at her.
If the guy is attractive (in her eyes), well, please do look on and send a message too.
Online dating can be creepy for girls
However, if you are not quite what she had imagined, you just have to make your profile a little more female friendly.
The truth of online profiles though is that it comes down to the photos.
This is especially true on mobile dating apps, such as Tinder, Bumble, and Coffee Meets Bagel, where there is barely enough room to even write about your hobbies.
Here are 3 tips to improve your online profile so that those cute girls might actually message you back.
3 Tips to improve your profile
1. Have photos.
If you don’t have any photos and you express interest in a girl, that is creepy. (See discussion above).
Who is this voyeur checking her out? You can see her, but she cannot see you. That is like an online blindfold.
Let’s hold off on being Mr. Gray, a la fifty shades, at the beginning.
2. You have photos, but they’re creepy
(We don’t like creepy, remember?) Let’s expand on this idea a bit further.
Here is what could be “wrong” with your photos:
3. You have sunglasses on
Sunglasses mug shot = Unabomber look. Homegrown terrorists please need not apply.
4. Your photo is in a car with your seatbelt on
Is this an invitation to carpool?
The rearview mirror selfie is not terribly attractive.
Perhaps show yourself doing an activity you find enjoyable such as driving a golf cart or go-cart.
That you know how to drive a car is the adult equivalent of being able to tie your shoelaces. Not something you need to showcase.
5. You are not smiling
Instead you have a “funny” face.
Staring into the camera as if you just woke up, got arrested, or are about to watch sexflix does not make a great profile shot.
It may be funny to you, but think about the photos from the girls’ perspective.
At the bare minimum, she wants to know that you are decent and safe. Your photos are the easiest way to discern your decency, before she decides to move ahead and read your profile.
6. You have photos with other women in them
Unless she looks like your mom, this is really confusing.
Use the captions to notate that she is actually your sister, aunt, or co-worker.
Avoid photos intimate photos with another woman of any kind.
It immediately brings up the notion of being compared to your ex.
7. If you have decent photos, you may not have much on your written profile, or anything written at all.
It’s like half a body–where did the rest of you go?
Or your profile is blase and generic such as:
- I swim, bike, and read.
- I like to travel.
- I like the outdoors.
- Looking to find my queen.
Yawn, snooze, and clicking to the next profile.
What makes the best profile?
The best online profiles reflect the undebatable truth that there is only one you in this entire universe.
They are unique and usually have an anecdote or “fun fact” about yourself. Some examples of this are:
- Including your Uber or Lyft score. Social proof that you actually are a nice guy.
- Explaining why you love your job. It’s nice to meet people that like their jobs or have some passion about something.
- Mentioning that you made your name “Awesome” on your grocery store rewards card so every time you checkout, the clerk calls you “Mr. Awesome.”
What if you still don’t get any messages back?
If you have great pictures and a good description of yourself to match and still don’t get any messages back, it could just be that the girl is not feeling it.
You’ve been honest in your profile and you have decent photos, but she is not feeling the spark.
Or you’re not tall enough or make enough money. Who knows?
It’s a numbers game. You’ve got to take every chance possible you can, and online dating widens the pool for potential women you may meet.
It can be so disheartening to message tons of women only to have so few of them reply back.
I suppose though it’s worth taking the chance if you end up meeting that one special person.
Recipe for a Non-Creepy Online Profile
It's a known fact that most girls will not message you back in online dating apps. Improve your decency factor with this recipe.
Ingredients
- 1 ea photo without sunglasses or in the car
- 1 ea photo with a smiling, happy face
- 3 ea photos doing activities you enjoy
- 1 paragraph explaining something you are passionate about
- 1 ea social proof score Uber rating
- 1 ea cute anecdote about yourself
- 1 dash of good humor
- 1 pinch of humility if you don't get a message back
Instructions
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Collect each of the above items with some thought and care.
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Mix in decency and honesty.
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Send your messages with good intentions. Don't let non-responses bring you down.
Recipe Notes
Proceed with caution if you would like to include photos with other women in them. It's confusing.
